How I Became A Believer

     The year is 2014 and unbeknownst to me, my life was about to change forever. At that time, and for most of my life, I was head deep in the new age. At that time I considered myself a "spiritual" practitioner of all religions as opposed to being a practitioner of "new age". In fact I never really used the words new age but naturally followed many of the practices contributed to the new age. I would read books about affirmations, numerology, meditation, self-healing, and ancient practices. 

I practiced yoga, Fung Shi, listened to third-eye opening music, and learned as much as possible about every religion and metaphysic theories. I never committed to one belief in particular; I was a spiritual dabbler if anything. I enjoyed experimenting with difference beliefs and would only practice a belief for as long as it took for me to find something new. I remember practicing remote viewing and for awhile I was getting pretty good at it. I went to a website that would test ones ability to remote view by providing a link that consisted of a mix of numbers and letters that contained a random image. You were supposed to guess the image that the link contained by staring at the link and then seeing the image in your mind's eyes. I would stare at the link and then close my eyes and draw whatever image popped into my head. Once I saw a star, so I drew a star and opened the link. It was a five petal flower, shaped just like a star. I laughed at first, thinking, "what is the chance of getting it that close." 

Then I did it again. I got a new link and starred at it for a few minutes. I then closed my eyes and immediately saw what looked to be a hat with straight vertical lines going from top to bottom. I even saw the color red. When I clicked on the link, I gasped a little at how strikingly similar it was to the image I saw in my mind. It was a red rock formation that was in the shape of hat with bold black shadow lines going from top to bottom.

It was a little spooky now. I was intrigued but I dropped it and moved on to third-eye opening. I would listen to third-eye opening frequencies. I would listen to high-vibration music, 428Hz, conscious opening sounds all day and sometimes even at night. While I tuned myself out during my transcendental meditations, I would leave the frequencies playing. I was looking for away to hack life; a way to become more than myself. 

During this time, I found myself attracted to all things related to doomsday. My obsession with the Apocalypse started around 2012, when all of the world was preparing for mass extinction thanks to a misinterpretation of a Mayan Calendar. I found myself binge watching end-of-the-world movies, documentaries proposing how mankind would come to an end, and eventually to substantiate my doom-and-gloom cravings, YouTube videos related to the end times. As sometimes happens on YouTube, this led me down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theory videos and the "New Age Agenda." At first I was annoyed by them. I felt they were too preachy, like they were trying to prove their religion was right about the end times. I just wanted to see disasters, not be preached to. And although I found myself watching the videos and in some cases agreeing with them, It wasn't enough to convert me. 

During my usual search for subliminal and high frequency videos, I found an interesting YouTube video entitled something to the effect of "Invite A Interdimensional Being With This Sound." Seeing the video made me think of the conspiracy videos and well, I could not help myself. I was curious to see. When I clicked on the video, I immediately scrolled to the comments and nearly all of them were warning not to do it as it would, and I quote, "invite a demon into your home." One commenter even stated that they had to "burn sage" to remove the evil spirit. There were so many commenters warning not to do it, that I had to do it. I watched the video safely during the daytime with the lights on. It consisted of a man whispering incoherently while random geometric shapes and psychedelic imagery flashed by on the screen. 

When it ended I looked around my living room, waiting for a sign that contact had been made. Nothing happened. Emboldened by this, I bravely asked, "anyone here, any ghost, any interdimensional beings here?" Further emboldened by the silence and some liquid courage that I was drinking, I stated "Hey ghost why don't you move something? Since ya'll have nothing better to do than flicker people's lights, you could at least move something." I looked around the room and sleeping peacefully on the arm of the sofa was my cat. And for reasons I cannot logically explain, I stated, "Hey if you're here and you're real, why don't you move the cat?" Nothing immediately happened so I turned back to my computer, when suddenly the cat made a yelping sound. Totally shocked, I turned to see the cat hanging onto the sofa with all of her strength. She then jumped off the sofa and ran into the bedroom. I turned and my dog and I stared at each other for a second. I think we were both shocked, but I tried to pretend it was a coincidence; I could not accept any alternative to that.  

That night I sat on my patio, finishing the drink I started earlier in the day. As I was drinking, I saw three shiny metallic orbs float by and go straight into a tree that was adjacent to the parking lot. As soon as they did, all the birds in the tree immediately flew away. I remember looking at my cup like, what is in this drink. Then briefly I saw what I can only describe as a person with the head of a deer, but it was all black, like a shadow and it floated straight threw the wall into my neighbor's apartment. I remember telling myself, "I need to layoff the third eye opening stuff." As I headed to bed, I felt a since of dread that I cannot explain but the alcohol helped me "sleep." As I was heading to bed, I made sure to turn on my T.V. because that since of fear was still there. Whether asleep or awake, I'm not sure. I remember waking up and looking around, seeing the light of the TV and my comforter. I noticed my dog and reached down to kiss my dog that was lying next to me. As I was reaching down, I felt something on my back and as I turned around, staring directly in my eyes, only centimeters from my face, was a creature with big black eyes, a round head with no hair, dark skin, sharp teeth, and a long skinny neck. 

I immediately closed my eyes, hoping it would disappear but when I opened my eyes, there it was even closer to me, as if to say, "do you see me now." I tried to scream but I could not speak or move; I was completely frozen. And without real reason as to why I did it, I suddenly thought to myself or said, "Jesus help me." And suddenly the thing disappeared and when I opened my eyes, I was awake. Everything was normal, there were no signs of a struggle and my dog was perfectly unbothered sleeping right next to me. I thought to myself, what a strange dream I must have had.

The next night I went to bed and again I dreamt that I was on my bed when something I could not see grabbed me by the legs and started dragging me off the bed. I was completely afraid and tried to squirm away. As I got up to run away, I was grabbed again and as before, I cried out in my spirit, "Jesus please help me," and this time I saw the figure of a man appear and the creature that had been attacking me disappeared and again I woke up, totally shocked. At this time, I was not a Christian, I was only somewhat familiar with Christian beliefs but I was more opposed to it than for it.

Despite all of this, I  tried to put it all behind me as I could not understand what it all meant. While I was doing my meditations, I could not help but to think of the dreams I had and more importantly the name of Jesus. As I thought about it, I remembered the conspiracy videos that talked about how the whole world was against the name of Jesus and the Bible and how there was a Luciferian agenda trying to turn the world away from the Bible and away from Jesus. And as I was meditating on all of it, I had a sudden epiphany and thought, "Jesus really is our Lord and Savior." And before I could even finish saying the word Savior, a Light, brighter than I had ever seen before engulfed me. I could not move but I was terrified, as I had never experienced anything like it. It was like being surrounded by a cloud that shined like lightening. I felt the light. After it was gone, I was left in total silence, totally overcome by what happened. I fell to my knees and cried like a baby, even letting out a "God is real... am I going to hell??!" I cried all day. It was like my eyes immediately became opened. 

I looked around my apartment, that was covered in filth and I was immediately disgusted. It took me no less than three days to clean my apartment. I remember the same night that I guess I got saved on I was laying on my bed thinking to myself, "is this real," when I heard a voice as audible as any person clearly say, "Jesus is real and demons are real." I gasped and wept like baby. I was not prepared for this at all. Three days prior, I was an agnostic that was on the fence about whether or not God and Jesus were real or not. Now I'm sitting here with this experience that I had and I did not know what to think. Prior to this, I did not have supernatural experiences, even when I wanted to have them, I did not. After this, I was bombarded by them. 

One night while in bed, I felt something pin me down and try to hold me and I immediately cried out to Jesus and it released me. Another night I tried to pray, in fact it was the first time I had ever really prayed and as I was on my knees, I felt something touch my butt. At first I thought it was my cat but I turned around and there was nothing visible that I could see there. One night I as I was brushing my teeth, I felt a heat like a blow dryer on my back and as I looked up at the mirror that I was standing in front of, the toothpaste tube that had been lying next to the sink suddenly began to move back and forth like a cradle. I remember feeling like my heart was going to leap out of my body. I quietly walked out of the bathroom and wept. My whole world was turning upside down. In total desperation, I called my dad, something I rarely did and asked him to pray for me, something I never did. As one could imagine, my dad was not happy about this as no parent probably wants a random call from their kid, crying and asking them to pray for them. 

To say my life was forever changed would be an understatement. I'm a completely different. The person I was died that day. I was immediately thrown into a spiritual war that I didn't even know existed. I've had a few loses, even fewer wins but I'm still here and I'm still fighting. This blog is about my experiences and everything I've learned.